If I Die Young
by Fegele
Summary: "Bruder, why do you never talk about Holy Roman Empire?" Before Germany, before the German Empire, Gilbert had a different little brother, the first Ludwig, the Holy Roman Empire. Germany is their secret child. Gilbert x HRE!Ludwig & Germany!Ludwig
1. The Love Dies Young

**_Hello!_**This is another story about Holy Roman Empire's death and the German Empire's unification, yes!

But there is a little difference: Germany is Prussia and Holy Roman Empire's love child but he doesn't know, yet!

We have **2 story-lines:**

1, Everything after Holy Roman Empire's death (it begins with this chapter)

2, Everything before Holy Roman Empire's death (it will begin with the second chapter)

Warnings:Mpreg! HRE is the victim. Incest, sex-scene later and... nothing else, for now.

Holy Roman Empire\Germany: They are not the same person here but they are identical to each other and they have the same name (Ludwig)

* * *

**_[The Love Dies Young]_**

_"If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river, at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song."_

He couldn't believe it when it happened.

That he was gone.

_Nein, nein_… it had to be a nightmare, it just had to be.

"Gilbert?"

The Kingdom of Prussia was staring at nothing, his arrogant red eyes were empty, he looked like a broken doll abandoned on a chair next to the fireplace, "Gilbert?" Elizaveta called again kneeling on the carpet right in front of him, "Gilbert, please, you can't go on like this."

Gilbert didn't want to go on, it was different.

An infant was screaming in the next room, he hadn't stopped since that damned moment two days ago. It was like he knew what was happening around him and he cried desperately to vent his sorrow. Gilbert wasn't so brave, he couldn't cry because he couldn't accept what had happened.

"Gilbert?" Elizaveta tried again, "why don't you go to see West? He doesn't eat since… since… Please, Gilbert, don't let him die."

"He doesn't want me," Gilbert muttered without taking his eyes off of the fireplace, "he wants his mother."

Elizaveta closed her green eyes trying to not cry, "Gilbert, he needs you now, we can't comfort him, we have tried everything!"

Gilbert didn't answer, he heard the door open and close but he didn't turn around.

"We have to find another wetnurse," Roderich proclaimed sadly, "it's the second time only today!"

Gilbert snorted, "he doesn't want a wetnurse, he wants his mother. We didn't want a wetnurse since the start! Ludwig wants to feed him! Give the child to him!"

Elizaveta widened her eyes and Roderich did the same, they looked at each other until the Austrian came closer placing a hand on the Prussian's shoulder, "Ludwig is dead, Gilbert."

Gilbert laughed slapping that hand away, "he is just sleeping, you idiot! West doesn't make us sleep, I'm awesome enough to go on with my duties, Ludwig needs to rest but you're not able to take care of an infant enough to leave him alone for a while!"

"Gilbert…" Elizaveta murmured with trembling voice.

"Ludwig will wake up soon and West will calm down as soon as he will be in his arms again, believe me!"

Roderich moved in front of him grabbing his shoulders and shaking him violently, "wake up, Gilbert! Ludwig is dead!" Elizaveta stood up to make him stop but the Austrian ignored her, "he will not wake up, he will not come back! He has been dissolved one year ago!"

Gilbert's expression changed suddenly, "one year ago… he was fine one year ago…"

"He has been lucky, Gilbert," Roderich said gentler, "West has saved him that day."

"West?" Gilbert wasn't really listening, "Ludwig had turned weak and ill only after his birth."

Roderich froze, "you're delirious, Gilbert! You can't blame a baby! Ludwig would have dead with or without his son… He has lived a little longer thanks to that baby, to be honest! He has given another year to you and him and Ludwig has given one last precious present to you to live for. You can't blame his son… you can't blame _your _son, Gilbert Beilschmidt!"

Gilbert stood up suddenly pushing Roderich away violently, "Don't talk about that damned thing like…" the anger on his pale face disappeared quickly, "like… like…"

_"Do you want to feel the baby?"_

"Nein… Nein…" He was babbling.

_"Can you feel it? It's strong, right?"_

He didn't need to close his eyes to see that scene again: Ludwig's blue irises full of hope, his childish proud grin as he felt that little foot kick against his palm, Ludwig's bright smile, their lips pressed against each other, their fingers laced together over the younger one's belly.

_"Talk to me about our father, Gilbert."_

Gilbert fell on his knees, he hid his face in his hands.

_"Will you talk to our baby about me, sometimes?"_

"Ludwig…" He sobbed, "Ludwig… Ludwig… Ludwig…"

For the first time after two days of silent sorrow, Gilbert Beilschmidt cried.

* * *

Ludwig's face wasn't so pale, after all. He had always been pale.

The royal chapel was cold but Gilbert could feel nothing but that horrible emptiness inside him, he looked like some tramp of the streets. He was only the shadow of the proud knight he used to be but he didn't care, he didn't want to look like the old awesome self when he didn't feel awesome at all.

Awesome… Everything looked so stupid, so futile, right now. His own life didn't have value anymore, he would had been happy to die. He was already a living dead, after all.

But Ludwig.

Ludwig was beautiful, he looked like a prince who was waiting for his true love kiss.

His skin was cold but perfect, the bags under his eyes were disappeared, the pain had abandoned his features. Ludwig was perfect like he had always been. The Holy Roman Empire was perfect like he had to be.

His golden hair was almost shining.

Gilbert brushed his index against his lips: they were full and soft like his pale cheeks.

He was wearing a white uniform, his hands were resting on his chest, the old flag of the Holy Roman Empire was covering the lower part of his body. The blue cornflowers surrounded him: he used to love those flowers and Gilbert used to give them to him very often just to see his little brother get angry and blush.

Ludwig looked like a sleeping angel and Gilbert would had done everything to take him back to him.

_Please_, he begged silently, _please, Ludwig, wake up. You can't leave me like this! Please, God, you've already taken away my father and Friedrich, give him back! Give my little brother back and if you don't want to do it for me, do it for that brat! I don't care but… Give him back, please!"_

"Gott, bitte…" He muttered at the still body in front of him, but Ludwig didn't move, he didn't open his gorgeous blue eyes, he didn't smile shyly at him reaching out to touch his face, to wrap his arms around his neck and to kiss him again, again, again…

_"Gilbert…"_Ludwig wasn't going to call his name one more time.

The Kingdom of Prussia closed his eyes tiredly grabbing the edge of that coffin with both his hands, "I wasn't able to protect you, Ludwig," He said like the younger one could still hear him, "can you forgive me?" He looked up at the high ceiling of the royal chapel, "And you, father? Will you be able to forgive me to not have been able to save your precious heir's life?"

Their father was dead to give birth to Ludwig, he had made Gilbert and Roderich promise to take care of their little brother, to love him, to protect him. They have tried, maybe, they had been good for a while, maybe… But they had failed, at the end, and it was the worst of their sin!

"Gilbert?"

He didn't turn around, he knew that voice very well.

"What do you want?"

"We're almost ready for the ceremony," Gilbert felt him move closer but he didn't take his eyes off of Ludwig's face: his little beloved brother was so beautiful.

"Gilbert…" The Austrian had stopped right next to him and Gilbert couldn't help but notice the white bundle in his arms. For the first time after three days, the Kingdom of Prussia saw his son. He didn't have a real name, yet. Gilbert had nicknamed him West when he was still inside Ludwig's belly and they had continued to call him in that way even after his birth waiting to find a good name for him.

They have waited too much…

The baby boy was sleeping peacefully but his little face was a little too pale and there were two ugly dark bags under his eyes. Gilbert made a face, "is he fine?" He asked and Roderich's expression turned severe, "do you care?"

Gilbert sent him a cold gaze without answering and then he stared down at Ludwig again sadly, "what the hell did you put on his head?"

Roderich just sighed deeply looking at the sleeping infant in his arms, "It's just a baby bonnet, it is too damp for him inside there," he looked down at the dead boy in the coffin, "he is still beautiful."

"I know…"

The Austrian looked at the sleeping baby in his arms, "he doesn't look like you."

"I know…"

"Gilbert, please, stop to ignore this baby, he…"

"I want to stay alone with my brother a little longer," Gilbert said coldly losing his patience quickly, the Austrian didn't move, "He was my brother, too."

"I want to stay alone with my _lover_!" Gilbert exclaimed closing his fists, "is it clear, Roderich?"

The Austrian didn't move for a while, "Gilbert…"

"Go…"

Roderich closed his eyes nodding, "we'll began the funeral soon."

Gilbert stiffened. _Nein, bitte! Don't take him away from me! Don't bury him! I will take care of him like a fragile broken doll… Don't take Ludwig away… _He forced himself to nod and Roderich turned around and left the chapel.

The silence fell upon them.

Gilbert sat on the edge of the coffin slowly reaching out to grab the heavy lid, he looked down at Ludwig. He cupped his cheek with his free hand bending down and resting his forehead against his little brother's. He would had never been able to touch Ludwig again, to stay so close to him, to look at his beautiful face. "Ich liebe dich…" he murmured kissing those cold lips one last time.

It was their goodbye kiss.

"Ich liebe dich, Ludwig," Gilbert repeated staring at his love's face one last time, "auf Wiedersehen…"

He closed the coffin.

It was over.

_"Gilbert…"_

Ludwig wasn't going to woke up, anymore.

"auf Wiedersehen, mein Liebling."

There were a lot of important men in the royal chapel that day.

The Prussian's King, the Austrian's Emperor, Generals, Soldiers. They didn't really care about Ludwig, they were here to respect their countries, nothing more. No one suffered because of Ludwig's death but three people: Roderich was the only one to look at the coffin on the altar, Elizaveta was crying pressing a handkerchief against her mouth, Gilbert could help but stare at the exhausted baby boy in the Austrian's arms.

Yes, he was the perfect little copy of Ludwig.

He remembered when his father had helped him to hold that little screaming bundle centuries and centuries before that damned day: Ludwig had been his first birthday's present and Gilbert had loved him since the first time he had seen him. Six months ago, his beloved Ludwig had given to him a similar present, precious like the first one, unique.

_"Do you hear him?"_

Ludwig had never been more beautiful than that day. The day that West was born.

_"It's your son, Gilbert! Your son!"_

It had been the best day of their life…

He didn't know what he was thinking, he just lifted his hand reaching out to touch the baby boy. He brushed his knuckles against the pale soft cheek absently. Roderich didn't fail to notice it, he looked up at the younger one and Gilbert stared back at him. The Austrian moved slowly, the albino hesitated a little and then he snorted taking the infant in his arms.

West whined in his sleep but Gilbert held him closer to his chest shushing him gently, "Shhh, West…" He whispered standing up and walking towards the exit of the chapel.

Elizaveta looked up at the albino and then at the Austrian, Roderich nodded slightly taking the young woman's hand, she nodded back forcing a smile and turning towards the young man who walked out of the chapel.

* * *

Gilbert didn't step inside Ludwig's bedroom since his death, but, when he opened that door seeing their private heaven where he and his lover had spent the most happy moments of their life together, he felt like he hadn't seen that room in centuries.

Ludwig's real room was in Vienna, in Roderich's palace, but he hadn't sleep between those four walls since their first kiss, more or less.

Gilbert had turned his old bedroom in _their _bedroom.

They have made love for the first time _on that bed_, they have conceived West _on that bed_, Ludwig had given birth to him _on that bed_ and they had spent a lot of nights cuddling him _on that bed,_ until the day Ludwig had died _on that bed_. Gilbert didn't want to desecrate his personal sanctuary: everything in that room was dead with his beloved Ludwig. But the baby's stuff were still inside there.

Gilbert walked towards the rocking chair: he liked that thing and West liked it, too.

He sighed deeply sitting down and resting his shoulders against the chair's back, West had half-opened his blue eyes tiredly: he looked so weak and Gilbert didn't like it, "you barely eat since Mama's death, right?" He asked and the baby nuzzled his head against his chest closing his eyes again. Gilbert forced a smile, "no wetnurse is good for you, West. But your awesome Papa knows what to do."

He stood up again walking towards the elegant crib, West whined when his parent leave him inside it, "don't complain, you aren't going to get everything you want, begin to learn it," the fireplace was almost dead but Gilbert take care of it quickly looking around for something, "did you eat your baby bottle, West?"

The baby boy whined loudly.

"Papa has said: don't complain," Gilbert repeated but he wasn't mad, he couldn't be mad when that tiny voice was calling him and only him in the entire world. He suddenly remembered why he had wanted that child so much, because to be a father was so awesome for him!

"Oh! I found you!" There was a thing on one of the nightstands, it looked like a teapot but it wasn't a teapot, "I've to wash it…" Gilbert commented observing the object carefully, "I have to think about the milk, too," he walked toward the door with that sort-of-teapot in his hands when the little thing inside the crib began to scream.

Gilbert frozen turning towards it, he smiled tenderly, "sorry," he muttered when he looked down at the angry baby boy, "I've left you alone enough, right West?" He asked sadly placing the object on the edge of the bed to take his son in his arms, Gilbert held that little body with his hands staring down at him seriously, his son looked up at him with his gorgeous blue eyes. Ludwig's eyes.

Gilbert smiled sadly and happily at the same time holding at that little thing against his chest with all the love he could demonstrate and closed his eyes. He could feel that little heart inside his baby's chest, it was tiny but it was strong and it was enough for Gilbert. His son was alive and nothing was going to harm him, nothing in the entire world.

"I would die for you," Gilbert whispered and kissed his baby's cheek gently, he smiled heartedly for the first time after weeks of sorrow, "let's go to find something to eat."

A few minutes later, Gilbert was on the rocking chair again with West in his arms and that sort-of-teapot in his right hand. The little boy was sucking his milk from the artificial nipple of the object without taking his blue eyes off of his father's face and Gilbert never felt the smile leave his face, "were you angry, right?" Gilbert asked placing the _thing _on the nearest nightstand.

"We're fine and alone, at the end," Gilbert said, "well… I'm not really fine but I feel already better with the most awesome baby boy of the world in my arms."

The baby boy began to play with his finger and Gilbert let him do, "do you know? You're almost six months old and you didn't have a real name, yet," the baby blinked, "Mama and I were sure that we just needed to see you to decide your name but… it's not been so easy," Gilbert began to cuddle his son sweetly, "do you have any preference, West? We need an awesome name for you, little one."

The baby boy gurgled and Gilbert placed a kiss on his forehead: his baby was calm, silent, almost serious! He laughed rethinking about his little brother's expression when he tried to look like an angry adult. The world had taken their childhood away too soon but it wasn't going to happen with their son.

The baby boy was focused on his bigger fingers, he was studying them curiously with the same expression of his mother when he tried to learn something new, "you look like Ludwig so much, little one," Gilbert commented with a sad smile and he froze, "Ludwig…" He murmured looking down at his son and the baby let go his fingers to watch him like he had understood what he had said. Gilbert smiled brightly, "Ludwig," he tried again and it sounded good like nothing else, "Ludwig," he nodded while a single tear slid down his face, "ja, you really look like a Ludwig."

He kissed his baby boy again holding him against his chest while he let himself vent to his sorrow one more time.

But it was already better.

It sounded wrong but if that little life was in his arms, Gilbert felt a little better, he felt like there was still a beautiful thing in the world to live for.

And it was enough, for now.

"Ludwig…" He called almost sobbing but he wasn't sure who he was calling that time, "Ludwig."

He needed to cry a little longer, the wound of Ludwig's death couldn't heal, he was sure of that.

The baby boy whined loudly and Gilbert rested his lips against his forehead, "Papa is here, Ludwig, you awesome Papa is here and he will never leave you alone, again."

But with his little West… His little Ludwig, the emptiness inside him wasn't so big anymore.

_"You will be the most awesome father in the world, Gilbert! I know it!"_

It was enough.

* * *

**A.N.** _Google "ancient baby bottle" and you'll understand what Gilbert has used to feed Ludwig. Comments are love like always!_

_"If I die young"- The Band Perry_


	2. The Secret Dies Young

_**[The Secret Dies Young]**  
_

_[962]_

Gilbert was too young to understand.

Roderich had tried to explain everything to him but Roderich wasn't awesome and Gilbert didn't use to listen to him.

It was almost spring when their father made them sit on his bed with a sweet smile on his face: their Papa didn't used to smile very often so it had to be a great news. "Come here, Gilbert," His Papa said and Gilbert ran towards him with a big smile, "where is the surprise, Papa?"

"Gilbert!" Roderich scolded him.

"It's alright, child," their Papa said stroking the dark hair of the older child, "do you remember when Gilbert is born?" Roderich made a face and the albino child glared at him, "yes, father," he answered at the end. "Well…" Germania was smiling but he looked very sad and Gilbert didn't fail to notice it, "you're going to be three very soon, children."

Roderich widened his eyes in surprise, Gilbert frowned, "I don't understand…"

The dark haired boy rolled his eyes, "stupid…" he muttered.

"Idiot!" Gilbert replied but their father rested his hands on the top of their little heads calming them down, "don't fight against each other, please," Germania said and the boys lowered their eyes apologetically, "you need to stay together, little ones. I need your help right now and your little brother or sister needs you two, too."

"Little brother?" Gilbert looked all around the room, "little sister? Where is the little brother or the little sister?"

Roderich snorted and Germania laughed briefly, "give me your hands," Gilbert blinked but he obeyed without replying, he widened his eyes when his father made him touch his stomach, "did you eat the little brother or sister, Papa?"

"Oh, Gilbert!" Roderich exclaimed, "the little brother or sister is inside our father's belly."

Gilbert tilted the head, "I can't see or feel it…"

"Because it's too early," Germania explained gently, "the baby is very little right now but he or she will grow up soon and then you'll be able to feel him or her move," Gilbert wasn't very convinced about it but it sounded awesome and he smiled brightly, "I'm going to be an older brother!" He exclaimed proudly and his father kissed his forehead, "you'll be a good older brother, little one!"

Gilbert turned into an older brother immediately.

He didn't throw tantrums anymore, he didn't fight with Roderich anymore. He was obedient, sweet and that smile never left his happy face. Germania wasn't so strict like he could seem, his children were still very young and he loved to spend with them the most of his time even during the night. Gilbert loved to sleep with his Papa because he felt warm and safe but Roderich had stopped to sleep with them a little too soon and the albino child wasn't going to be inferior to the dark haired one.

Sometimes, Gilbert waited for Roderich to fall asleep and he ran to his father to sleep with him, but he didn't care to hide it anymore after the news about the baby inside his Papa's belly. Gilbert loved to talk with his little brother or sister and Germania loved to hear him.

The baby kicked for the first time at the start of the fifth month after one of his older brother's story and Gilbert was so happy that he kissed his Papa's belly smiling proudly, "you're a boy!" He proclaimed, "I know it! I'm your awesome older brother, after all! And your name will be Ludwig!"

"You can't name the baby, our father has to do it!" Roderich replied.

"Don't worry, Roderich. It's a good name, Gilbert, if it will be a boy we'll name him Ludwig. Are you happy?"

And Gilbert was happy! Gilbert was very happy because, during a winter cold night, his Papa gave him the most beautiful birthday's present in the world.

It wasn't an easy thing. Not for Gilbert.

Roderich remembered Gilbert's birth but he had woken up a morning and he had found an albino infant in a basket next to his father's bed. He hadn't heard anything! That time, they heard everything, instead!

No one cared about them, they were sitting on the floor in front of a closed door waiting to not hear those screams anymore! Roderich left him alone after a while and Gilbert pressed his hands against his ears closing his eyes. Why was the little brother so bad with his Papa? Why was he hurting him? Gilbert didn't understand and no one was there to explain it to him.

He just sat next to that door stubbornly until his father's voice disappeared and a baby began to cry loudly.

"you can see your father now, little one," a young lady said allowing him to step inside the room, Gilbert ran but he stopped immediately when he saw his father on the bed smiling tiredly at a little naked body on his chest. Gilbert stared silently while an older woman took the little bloody thing in her arms making it screams desperately but Papa didn't look worried about it.

The woman cleaned the little body and Gilbert continued to stare until the blood disappeared revealing a lot of pink and new skin. Another lady wrapped the baby in a warm blanket resting him on the bed next to his father. His Papa looked very tired but he was smiling happily.

Germania lifted his face meeting his son's red eyes and he held out his right hand, "come here my little one, don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid," Gilbert murmured but he didn't move, at all.

"Someone wants to meet you."

Gilbert forced himself to take a step and then another one and another one, until he reached the bed. A lady helped him to sit on the edge, he lowered his gaze and he widened his eyes in surprise: two gorgeous blue eyes was staring up at him curiously, a little mouth was opening and closing emitting strange verses and ten little small fingers were wrapped around the blanket's hem

Germania kissed the baby's temple, "Gilbert, he is Ludwig, your little brother," he murmured and then he caressed the albino child's hair, "Ludwig, he is Gilbert, your older brother."

Gilbert smiled brightly, "It's a boy! It's a boy!" He exclaimed proudly.

"He is born for you, I think…" Germania muttered smiling at his two precious children trying to not lose anything of that moment. "Hi, Ludwig!" Gilbert leaned down touching his little hands, his face and then he leaned down to kiss his cheek, "welcome to the world! You're awesome, you know?"

Germania laughed weakly, "Gilbert?"

"Yes, Papa?"

"Can you try to be gentle with Roderich a little more?" He asked resting a hand against the child's pale cheek, "Ludwig is very little and he will need both of you one day, don't fight against each other, please. Try to be a family, try to protect each other and you will be great and free."

Gilbert made a face but he smiled, "I will try Papa but I will do it for you and Ludwig!"

"Good boy," Germania said tiredly while Ludwig fell asleep serenely, "you three are my life, child. Promise me to be happy, it's the only thing I wish for…"

Gilbert didn't understand, he continued to smile without taking his eyes off of Ludwig's sleeping face.

His Papa was tired and weak but it was natural, after all, wasn't it?

But Gilbert was too happy to understand.

Their father died one week after Ludwig's birth.

That day, Gilbert understood everything.

_[1807]_

_Berlin  
_

"Ludwig Friedrich Beilschmidt…" Roderich muttered holding the little boy right before his eyes, "are you sure about this name?" He asked looking at the restless albino who continued to pick up the baby's stuff from the floor. Gilbert smiled briefly at him, "awesomely sure!" He answered and the Austrian rolled his eyes making the baby rest his little head again his shoulder, "he looks so calm, now."

Gilbert stared up at his son, Ludwig reached out with his little hands looking towards him and the albino ran to take his little one in his arms, "hi! My awesome baby boy!" Gilbert kissed his cheek brushing his nose against the boy's smaller one. Ludwig laughed happily touching his father's face curiously, "what are you trying to do with these little awesome hands?" He lifted the baby throwing him in the air.

"Gilbert!" Roderich exclaimed worriedly, "It's dangerous!"

The albino snorted, cuddling his little one against his chest protectively, "don't be paranoid, he loves this game. Do you love this game, West? Oh, sure! You love this game!" The baby boy didn't stop to smile and Gilbert smiled back happily because he knew that Ludwig's smile was only for him.

"You have a new bedroom," Roderich commented suddenly.

Gilbert's smile died quickly, "yes, I've a new bedroom…" he muttered without taking his eyes off of his baby's face. Ludwig looked confused now, "I can't sleep in that room anymore."

The Austrian lowered his eyes sadly, "how are you, Gilbert? Seriously…"

Gilbert stared at his former brother coldly, "my son's mother is died one month ago. I'm not fine, I can't be fine," a pause, he smiled down at Ludwig again, "but I feel better when I'm with West," he kissed the boy's forehead, "he gives to me what I need to be awesome!"

Roderich smiled briefly but he turned deadly serious immediately, "What about the Confederation of the Rhine?" He asked and the albino looked up at him confused, "what do you mean?"

"I mean…" Roderich sighed deeply, "you and Ludwig have given birth to him but politically…"

"I don't fucking care," Gilbert muttered.

"Gilbert…"

"I don't fucking care!" The albino shouted and Ludwig began to cry and scream terrified. Gilbert's expression turned softer, "nein! Nein! I'm sorry baby, Papa didn't want to scare you! I'm here, it's alright," The Prussian rested his lips against his son's forehead cuddling him sweetly. Ludwig grabbed his shirt with both his little hands looking for protection and Gilbert held him closer without stopping to talk gently to him, "Francis doesn't know about him," he replied a little later, "he can do what he wants to his territories. Those states don't have the strength to start a war against the French Empire, Ludwig won't suffer because Napoleon's occupation for now and Francis isn't going to destroy his precious German trophy. He is not so stupid, yet!"

Roderich nodded, "you're right. Ludwig's life is safe but if Francis will find out about him, he will take your son away from you. Ludwig belongs to the French Empire politically."

"No one knows about West," Gilbert replied, "no one knows that Ludwig was pregnant with my child. Everything will be fine. If Francis will try to touch my son, I will kill him. I swear, Roderich! I will kill him, if he will dare to touch Ludwig."

"Gilbert for God's sake…"

"I prefer to die instead of living without Ludwig, is it clear?"

The door opened and Elizaveta stepped inside the bedroom, "the milk is ready," she said with a brightly smile handing the baby-bottle to Gilbert who smiled accepting the object. "Thank you," he said sitting on the edge of the bed, Ludwig widened his blue eyes reaching out with his little hands when he saw his meal.

Gilbert laughed, "he is hungry!"

"It's a good thing!" Elizaveta exclaimed happily, "it means that he is healthy and strong."

"Nein, he is awesome!" Gilbert replied guiding the artificial nipple to the baby's mouth.

"I don't understand why you don't want a wetnurse," Roderich commented disappointedly, "that strange thing doesn't look hygienic!"

"It's a baby-bottle, Rod! Call it with its name!"

"It looks more like a teapot."

"Call it baby-teapot if you prefer," Gilbert said annoyed, "Ludwig didn't want a wetnurse, he isn't here anymore but I want to take care of our son without help. I'm awesome enough for that! I'm his father, after all! I don't want to be like those noble men who didn't even remember the birthday of their children! I want to be the most awesome part of Ludwig's life and I'm doing it very well! Right, little one?" Ludwig smiled up at him happily.

Elizaveta stared up at the Austrian who sighed deeply, "I give up…"

"it's not something new…" Gilbert commented sarcastically.

Roderich sent a cold gaze to him.

Ludwig drink all his milk silently closing his eyes slowly until he fell asleep with the artificial nipple still in his mouth. Gilbert placed the teapot on the nightstand, he stood up coming closer to the crib, he kissed his baby boy one more time resting his little body between the warm baby blankets. Ludwig stirred a little but he didn't wake up while the three nations looked down at him smiling brightly.

"He is so beautiful, Gilbert!" Elizaveta said and Gilbert smiled proudly.

Roderich grinned, "it's the only good thing you've done since your birth," he said sarcastically and Gilbert smirked, "you're only envious, four-eyes!"

_[1189]_

"Bruder, talk to me about our father."

It was the same story every night.

Roderich left them in their bedroom, Ludwig cuddled up next to him staring up at his face with those gorgeous blue eyes and waiting for Gilbert to describe their father for the hundredth time since his first word. At the start, Ludwig did it with both of them but Roderich wasn't very happy to answer and he tried to change topic every time, Gilbert hated him for that.

Roderich was suffering because of their father's death but that topic wasn't easier for Gilbert, too.

He cried for his dead Papa every night when no one could hear or see him, when Ludwig slept peacefully in his basket and Gilbert didn't have to be awesome for his little brother. After the death of their father, Roderich began to be colder with him. Their relationship had never been easy but they had grown up together, after all.

Gilbert was awesome and Roderich wasn't, of course!

But they were family in a way or another, they and Ludwig were family!

Roderich was gentle with Ludwig but he didn't play with him, he didn't spend so much time with the infant and Gilbert was sad, not because he wanted to have Roderich around for the entire time but because their father wanted them to be happy _together_.But Roderich didn't care, Germania didn't exist anymore and the older child decided to forget everything because it was the easier thing.

It wasn't right!

Gilbert couldn't accept it!

Their father was dead but they couldn't make him die a second time forgetting him!

Gilbert needed to remember his father, he needed to remember his gentle touch, his fatherly love because it was the first and last beautiful thing he had known of the world and the world wasn't awesome like he imagined it. And then there was Ludwig!

Ludwig, the Holy Roman Empire.

Ludwig, that looked like their beloved father so much.

Ludwig, the younger child, with an entire Empire on his little, fragile shoulders.

It sounded awesome, but Gilbert didn't know if he was happy about it.

He didn't worry about the politic business after the death of his father, he was too busy to cry and to take care of his little brother. A young lady was always with them, she fed Ludwig and she was gentle with Gilbert. She was there only for his little brother, the German nobles cared only about their new-born Empire not about an albino child without a land but she wasn't like them.

She had lost her baby just after the birth, she was happy to take care of the two brothers and Gilbert tried to be awesome with her. She died when Ludwig was three but twenty years had passed since his birth. Gilbert didn't cry for her because he had learned to see the humans die around him since the start of his life.

He had Ludwig.

Ludwig had him.

Meanwhile, Roderich turned into an adult day after day.

At the start, only emotionally. Later, physically.

After two centuries since Ludwig's birth and their father's death, Roderich was a teenager and Gilbert looked like a ten-year-old child.

Ludwig… The Holy Roman Empire was six.

He was a sweet and shy child, he was brave but he didn't look like a warrior because of his gentle nature. He didn't smile often, just like their father, but Gilbert could make him laugh, sometimes. Ludwig was a very polite child but, because of Roderich, he acted like a little adult in front of other people. And he was stubborn…

He was so stubborn that Gilbert wasn't awesome enough to win against him, sometimes.

But he never admitted it.

Ludwig called him _bruder_, it had been his first word and Gilbert loved it because it made him feel part of a family, yet.

"Papa was…" Gilbert muttered staring up at the ceiling, "he was a very awesome warrior!" He exclaimed with a big smile, "he was brave and strong against the enemies but he was gentle with us, he was an awesome Papa, too."

Ludwig smiled shyly, "can I ask you a thing, bruder?"

"Ja, Ludwig!"

"Is our father proud of me when looks down at me from the heaven, isn't he?"

Gilbert turned toward his little brother with a confused expression: was their father proud of them in general ? Was he proud of Roderich's coldness? Was he proud of Gilbert's love for his little brother? Was he proud of Ludwig? How could someone not to be proud of Ludwig? He smiled brightly, "sure! You're almost awesome like me, don't forget it!"

Ludwig lowered his gaze, "it's just… Roderich scolds me so often and I… I don't want to…"

Gilbert snorted, "don't listen to that boring guy! He looks like an old man, he is ridiculous!"

"It's not a good thing to say, bruder…"

"Why?" Gilbert exclaimed, "he isn't awesome, at all!"

"Hear that from you it's like a compliment for me…"

Gilbert and Ludwig jumped on their seat, the albino grabbed his little sword immediately while Ludwig wrapped his little arms around his waist. The older brother snorted when he recognized the dark haired boy in the doorframe, "you fucking idiot!" He screamed throwing the blade on the floor, "do you want to make us die?"

"Lower your voice, Gilbert," Roderich ordered closing the bedroom's door behind him and then he looked down at the trembling child who was hiding his face against the albino's chest, "Ludwig."

The blond child turned around shyly to look at the older one.

Roderich sighed deeply, "if you want to be a real warrior like our father, you've to stop to count on someone else," he said coldly, "do you remember what I say? You're an Empire, you've a lot of fake friends and real enemies, you're alone in this world and you have to learn to fight for yourself."

Gilbert widened his eyes and opened his mouth.

Ludwig blushed deeply moving away from his brother and lowering his blue eyes to hide the tears inside them.

"You fucking bastard…" Gilbert muttered at the end and Roderich glared at him, "Ludwig, wait outside, I've to talk with your brother," he said, the little boy nodded quickly getting off of the bed and leaving silently. Gilbert didn't stop to look at him: he wanted to follow him, to hold him against his chest, to take him away from that house, from Roderich Fucking Eldestein, to be precise!

"You're only thirteen but you act just like the most expert dictator of the German lands…" Gilbert growled between his teeth, Roderich rolled his eyes, "I'm the older brother, I'm taking the place of our father. It's natural, Gilbert…"

"Not when you're the exact opposite…" Gilbert replied coldly.

"I do only what you aren't able to do."

"I love him and I protect him, it's the only thing he needs now!" The albino child replied getting off of the bed angrily, "he has us. Our father has done everything to take us away from wars, he doesn't need to fight until he has us."

Roderich chuckled, "you were so impatient to be a warrior when our father was still with us…"

Gilbert grinned, "and I'm still impatient to be one, Rod!" He exclaimed, "don't you hear me? I protect Ludwig and when he will need me, you'll see the most awesome knight of the world in the battlefield, believe me!"

"Perfect…" Roderich looked… satisfied?

Gilbert blinked two times, "what?"

"It's time for you to take a place in this world, Gilbert. A real place."

"I'm a part of the Holy Roman Empire…"

"What part?"

"I don't know!" Gilbert shouted, "somewhere, I'll find out where… But I'm part of this family, yet."

Roderich stared down at the little sword on the floor, he picked it up handing it to the younger child, "demonstrate it!"

Gilbert snorted taking his weapon back, "I don't need to demonstrate it to you!"

"Demonstrate it to yourself, if you prefer."

"I just need a mirror to demonstrate it to myself, thanks!"

"Demonstrate it to the Holy Roman Empire."

Gilbert didn't reply, he tilted his head trying to understand what Roderich wanted to say, "Are you asking to me to do something for Ludwig, Rod?" He asked confused and the dark haired boy smiled, "you want to protect him, right? We're going to send a lot of ships to Palestine and…"

"Palestine?" Gilbert widened his eyes, "the crusade…"

"We need someone to protect our people in that land, our pilgrims," Roderich explained, "they need knights to protect them, real knights… An army, if it is necessary."

Gilbert looked down at the sword in his small hands: he had never fought before, it was a great opportunity to be awesome in front of the entire Holy Roman Empire's noble men and women… No! In front of the entire world!

It was too awesome!

An army of knights only for him! Awesome!

"I accept!"

It was too early to understand the world, it was too early to understand a lot of things.

It was the real start of his great… _awesome_history.

_[1807]_

"_Call my name."_

_"Bruder…"_

_"No, my name… Call my name…"_

_"Gi-Gilbert…"_

_"Ja…"_

_"Gilbert…"_

_"Ja, Ludwig, ja…"_

_"Gilbert… Gilbert… Gilbert…"_

A sharp cry made Gilbert wake up suddenly, he stared at the ceiling for a while until he recognized the screaming thing in the crib next to his bed. He snorted, "oh, Gott…" he muttered passing a hand between his hair tiredly. Ludwig continued to call him stubbornly and Gilbert sighed deeply looking for the strength to stand up.

"Ludwig…" He called coming closer to the crib, "Ludwig, you will woke up the entire palace in this way and it's not awesome, sweetheart," Gilbert took the infant in his arms slowly, "shhh… Papa is here, West. It was only a stupid nightmare, everything is alright, now…" Ludwig didn't use to wake up during the night very often, but when it happened, it was a living hell.

His son was only seven months old and Gilbert knew him like the palms of his hands.

Ludwig was calm and silent the most of the time but he could be a little monster if he got angry and that night, Ludwig was very _very_angry. "West…" Gilbert came back to bed holding the baby boy against his chest, "West, calm down, please."

He wasn't hungry, he was clean and he smelled good. He was only nervous…

"Ludwig… Ludwig…" He muttered resting his back against the pillows and looking up at the ceiling, "you've given birth to your living portrait, defects included." The child screamed and Gilbert stiffened, "sorry! Sorry! Papa was joking! Mama was perfect and you're perfect, not like me… No, no… More than me, more than me!"

Ludwig stopped to scream to pout.

Oh, Gott! He was adorable with that expression on his chubby face, Gilbert couldn't help but kiss his cheeks laughing happily, "cute! You're so cute!" Ludwig wasn't crying anymore but he continued to have that funny adult gaze, "oh, you're so easily offended, West!" Another sloppy kiss on one of those round cheeks and then Gilbert rested him on the bed next to him, "do you want to sleep with Papa tonight? We did it when Mama was with us, sometimes."

Ludwig stared up at him for the entire time: he looked calm, now.

Gilbert relaxed against the mattress, "it was better when you slept between us, I know…."

Ludwig gurgled and the albino smiled brightly, "you're so smart, West! You'll create a lot of awesome battle's strategy, I'm sure!" He typed his index against the small nose gently, "Papa will teach you everything! I've learned all alone when I was a little older than you but you don't have to worry, West. You'll have an awesome childhood, Papa will play with you every day, I promise!"

Ludwig smiled briefly and Gilbert kissed his forehead sweetly, "and then, when you'll be older, stronger and more awesome than me, we'll be knights together and no one will be able to defeat us! The Kingdom of Prussia and his beloved son… We'll be the greatest in the world, Ludwig, believe me!"

_"You make everything sound so easy..."_

Gilbert's smile died.

_"The glory of an Empire can't last forever, someone will suffer, at the end."_

The albino rested a hand on the baby's chest and Ludwig grabbed his index putting it in his mouth. Gilbert bit his lower lip staring at the nearest window, he could still see Ludwig stand right before his eyes wearing only his shirt, with a hand on his still little belly and the other one hanged to the red curtain. Gilbert could still see the sadness on his face while he stared down at his body, at the little life that was growing secretly inside him.

_"The glory can be a splendid thing but it can turn into a condemn to death, too."_

The glory had killed a lot of humans and nations during the history.

The Roman Empire was only the most famous one.

The Holy Roman Empire was only the last one…

_The French Empire will be the next one…_ Gilbert thought, the hate flowed inside him like a stormy sea.

"I don't care if I'm not a real Empire anymore, I had to fight! I'm still part of this land and I wanted to protect it!"

The Holy Roman Empire, a dying Empire.

"_I fought because I need to deserve your love. I need to deserve you…" _

Ludwig… Stubborn, proud, beautiful Ludwig.

_"And there is something else to protect now… to fight for, Gilbert."_

Something else…

_Something else_ was just next to Gilbert now and he was stronger than every national ideals for the Prussian. The hate disappeared when those baby blue eyes looked up at him and Gilbert smiled again, the love lighted up his red eyes and his features softened a little. He wrapped an arm around the little bundle placing a kiss on the baby boy's forehead, "I love you, Ludwig," the child yawned tiredly and Gilbert smiled, "good night, little one."

* * *

_"Gilbert… Gilbert… Gilbert…"_

_Gilbert smiled without opening his eyes, he could feel the sunlight against his closed eyelids. He lifted a hand looking for the beautiful creature on himself, blindly._

_His head was lying on that familiar space on the Prussian's chest, he found comfort in his embrace. Gilbert's heartbeat was Ludwig's lullaby carrying away all his worries. The Kingdom found solace in the fact that his little brother felt secure in thar position. Gilbert loved to wake up after a night of love… No, he loved to wake up next to Ludwig with or without sex._

_After the sex was just better._

_He touched the base of a neck, he traveled up that line until he met the softness._

_"Gilbert…"_

_A finger touched his nose and then his lips, he waited a little more…_

_"Guten Morgen…" Two warm lips pressed against his own, Gilbert lifted his other hand tangling it in the younger one's golden hair. He kissed back arching his body to meet the one over him, Ludwig pressed his hands against his chest making their hips collide sweetly. Gilbert growled something in the kiss, "where is my shy little brother?"_

_Ludwig laughed briefly against his lips, "it's your fault…"_

_Gilbert opened his eyes, at the end._

_Red meet blue._

_"Guten Morgen…" Gilbert whispered brushing his fingertips against the pale cheek. Ludwig smiled sincerely…_

_Oh, Gott! He is divine when he smiles so heartedly! "Come here…" The albino wrapped his arms around the younger one's body. Ludwig placed a kiss on his chest and then he rested his cheek over his heart, "don't stop to beat for me…" He muttered to the organ inside his lover's chest. Gilbert closed his eyes sinking his nose in the blond hair, "I miss you…"_

_"It's too early to miss me, Gilbert."_

_"Don't be stupid!" Gilbert sat up and Ludwig sat up with him automatically._

_Red meet blue, again._

_"I feel so lost without you," Gilbert said taking that angelic face in his hands, Ludwig smiled sadly turning his head slightly to kiss one of those warm palms, "you're the great Kingdom of Prussia," he said placing a hand over the bigger one on his cheek, "you never give up, remember?"_

_"I'm not so sure anymore…"_

_"Gilbert…" Ludwig rested his forehead against his older brother's, "I was ready to die the day I've given birth to our son. I've had six months with my child and with his awesome father…"_

_"Be serious…"_

_Ludwig laughed briefly, "I've always been the serious one between us."_

_"Ludwig…" Gilbert hid his face in the younger one's chest kissing the soft skin repeatedly, "come back to me."_

_"I'm right here in your arms, now."_

_"Come back in the real world!"_

_"I can't, Gilbert…"_

_"If you don't want to do it for me, do it for our child! Do it for West, for our little Ludwig… I named him Ludwig, he looks like you so much, I couldn't find a better name for our son."_

_Ludwig rested his cheek on the top of Gilbert's head, "you've always loved that name since your childhood, right?"_

_Gilbert looked up at him and Ludwig brushed his fingertips against his cheek, "it's the most awesome name I know…"_

_Ludwig bent down kissing the albino's lips sweetly._

_"I will be always here for you," he whispered against his lover's mouth, "until the end, Gilbert..."_

_"Until the end," Gilbert repeated a little confused kissing his lover back._

_"Yes, until the end…" They fell on the mattress again, "I will stay with you, I will stay where you'll be able to find me every time you need me and that place will be only for us. Only for me and you, Gilbert. Like we had always dreamed."_

_"Stay with me…" Gilbert murmured enjoying the feeling of Ludwig's body against his, "don't leave me, I miss you too much, make love with me, Ludwig."_

_Another passionate kiss._

_A whisper._

_"Ja, Gilbert…" Ludwig's lips were trembling, "ja…"_

_But the atmosphere broke, suddenly._

_Ludwig stopped to move and Gilbert opened his eyes confused, "Ludwig?"_

_He didn't understand: there was fear in Ludwig's blue eyes._

_"Ludwig? What's wrong?"_

_Ludwig began to tremble violently, "wake up…"_

_"What?"_

_"Wake up! Gilbert! Wake up!"_

_Everything faded away with the sound of a sharp cry in his hears._

_"Ludwig? Ludwig!"_

* * *

"Ludwig!" He called desperately looking for the little bundle next to him.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw the empty spot at his side.

"Ludwig? Ludwig!" Gilbert could still hear the baby's tiny voice in the darkness, he tried to focus on it, "Ludwig!" He got off of the bed but, just after a step, something blocked him making him fall on the mattress again. Ludwig was crying, his son was crying, he was calling his father desperately. Gilbert kicked away the big thing over him but the grip on his body turned stronger.

"What the hell…?" He didn't have time to rationalize, he was like a savage beast ready to kill and to die to protect his precious puppy. The darkness around him didn't help, he couldn't understand what was blocking him, he was in panic! He was a knight for God's sake! He was accustomed to dangerous situation, he used to live two steps from the death.

But not with a child.

Not with his son.

Not with his little, helpless Ludwig.

It was the only difference but it was enough to make him lose his control.

"Ludwig!" Someone slapped him violently and Gilbert shushed immediately begging to understand what was going on, "shut the hell up, that brat is noisy enough for us!" A strange sound followed an the man over Gilbert fell on the floor allowing the albino to stand up, at the end.

"He is not a common human, be respectful with him."

Gilbert held his breath: he knew that voice! For God's sake, he knew that voice!

"Light up a candle, the darkness doesn't honor my splendid presence!"

"Oui, Monsieur!"

Gilbert waited trying to breathe correctly again but what appeared in front of him was worse than the death itself. Long blond hair, a blue and white uniform, a black hat with a white feather on his head and a splendid red cape on his shoulders, "It's been a while, mon ami," the French Empire, Francis Bonnefoy, Ludwig's murderer, said with a bright smile, "did you miss me, Gilbert?"

The Prussian was staring at his with wide open eyes.

"Oh, mon cher!" Francis exclaimed coming closer, "you don't have to be so nervous, we're best friends, after all…"

"Don't touch me!" Gilbert shouted when the blond tried to rest a hand on his shoulder, "don't you dare to touch me with those dirty hands, Francis!"

Francis looked surprise, "calm down, mon ami, I…"

"What the hell are you doing in my house?" Gilbert asked coldly trying to not attack the French Empire right there and now, "I'm the Emperor of Europe, my dear Gilbert," Francis commented proudly.

"Napoleon is the Emperor," Gilbert corrected, "you're just a temporary thing with an imperial title!"

"So rough…"

"What hell you want, Francis?"

Francis smiled diabolically, "I wanted only to honor my predecessor's tomb like he deserves, poor child."

Gilbert lost his mind completely, "bastard!" He shouted holding out his hands to reach the French's neck but three soldiers grabbed him strongly, "I kill you!" Gilbert screamed, "I kill you! I kill you!" He tried to free himself with all his strength but he could do nothing alone against three or more soldiers, "I will make you suffer just like him, you fucking bastard!"

"No, you won't," Francis replied with a gentle smile.

"Try me, Francis! Try me and you'll regret the day you're born!"

"Oh, oh… And what do we want to do with this little thing?" He asked staring at a younger soldier behind him, Gilbert stopped to move to see what the blond was staring at and he recognized a white screaming bundle in the young man's arms. "Ludwig!" He shouted trying to run towards his son, "Ludwig!"

"Oh, Ludwig…" Francis repeated coming closer to the soldier to take the crying infant in his arms, Gilbert's felt his heart explode. "You're a little monsieur," the French man commented sweetly, "and you've the name of a certain dead Empire. It's very interesting…"

Gilbert stopped to fight, the soldiers let him go and he fell on the pavement like a broken doll, "give him to me."

Francis shook his head, "we're becoming friends, Gilbert, be patient!"

"Give him back!"

"What are you, baby boy?" Francis asked looking at round red face, "you look like a German territory, you know?"

"He is nothing…" Gilbert said quickly shaking his head, "he doesn't have a land, he doesn't have a geographic name and he doesn't have a political identity. He is nothing, he is just a child, he isn't important for you!"

Francis laughed, "and you, the awesome Gilbert Beischmidt, Kingdom of Prussia, name a powerless orphan after your beloved dead younger brother?"

"They look like each other…" Gilbert tried to justify himself.

"I can see that with my eyes, Gilbert."

"He is my new little brother," Gilbert didn't think about what he was saying, he just said it, "he doesn't belong to the old Holy Roman Empire or Austria, he is mine! I still don't know what he is, he is only an infant."

Francis nodded absently, "It's one of your territories…"

"Ja…" Gilbert nodded a little too quickly. _Everything is going to be alright! Everything is going to be alright! Everything is going to be alright! Everything is…_

"Of course!" Francis exclaimed sarcastically, "your Ludwig die after a war against the French Empire and a little baby boy is born at his place just when my Confederation of the Rhine has been founded. That's a coincidence."

"Nein…" Gilbert shook his head widening his eyes.

"You were hiding this little treasure from me when you know very well that he is my territory, now!"

"Nein… Francis, Nein…"

"He is so cute!" Francis brushed his fingertip against his son's cheek sweetly.

"Don't touch him!"

The blond turned towards Gilbert, "he is mine, mon amie," he said with a big smile holding the little creature closer to his chest, Ludwig didn't stop to cry and Gilbert was going to cry too. "Nein, give him back," he said holding out his hands, "he is crying, give him to me, he is scarred."

Ludwig continued to cry and Gilbert felt his heart break slowly, painfully.

_He is my son, he isn't yours! West is mine! I've conceived him inside Ludwig and he has given him to me!_

"Give him to me…"

_He is my child, he is my life, he is my everything!_

"Francis!" Gilbert was ready to beg if it was necessary.

_You've already taken Ludwig, don't you dare to touch West! Not West! Our little precious West!_

"Our family is losing everything, now."

"Ludwig…" _Help me, please_!

_"But if our child will see the light, Gilbert. He or she will be our little hope for a splendid future!"_

"Ludwig…" Gilbert stared up at his enemy, Francis was ignoring him staring at his son's face.

Ludwig wasn't crying anymore.

The French Empire smiled, he looked down at the Prussian, "He has your little brother's eyes."

_"Give me a child with your eyes, Ludwig."_

_"I can't decide, Gilbert!"_

_"Please, give me another creature with your eyes, please!"_

Francis wrapped the infant in his red cape turning around and Gilbert found the strength to stand up, "Francis!" He called trying to catch the older man but the French soldiers interfered quickly, "you bastards! I swear, I will kill you! I will kill you!"

He heard Ludwig's voice again while Francis stepped out of the bedroom.

"Ludwig!" Gilbert called trying to follow him, "Ludwig! Ludwig! Ludwig!"

He was out of air when someone decided to make him shut up definitely, the darkness surrounded him again.

His son's voice disappear like a dream at the rise of the sun.

"Ludwig…"

No one answered.

* * *

**A.N.** History-Note:

**962, **Otto I was crowned Holy Roman Emperor. Otto was the first emperor of the realm who was not a member of the earlier Carolingian dynasty. The last Holy Roman Emperor was Francis II, who abdicated and dissolved the Empire in 1806 during the Napoleonic Wars.

**1189,** Third Crusade, 55 ships full of German knights attack Acri.

**_Thanks_ **for your comments!


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